Snowy feelings
by Kumiko-chii
Summary: Regret filling up the heart of a lonely girl under a snowy night. Short Miku x Luka fic. I'm bad at summary. Hints of NegiToro. Character death


Alright, my first Vocaloid fanfic. I'm got a writer's block from Love Live. I actually have this on my laptop long ago and decided to post this. Also, when I wrote this I was inspired by Konetsu for the authors many Miku x Luka fics. I finally got the courage to post this when I saw it in my laptop all lonesome. So Konetsu-san, if your reading this, please know that I thank you for all the wonderful mikuluka fics.

 _ **Lalala**_ _-lyric_

" _ **Lalala**_ _"-combination of lyric and talking  
_

Other than that I hope you enjoy the story.

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 **Snowy feelings of my soundless voice**

Sometimes I find myself searching for you. I knew I would find you, I could find you but you wouldn't be able to see me, hear me nor will you be able to visit me anymore.

Ah, I wonder how long that I haven't visited you. I look at the calendar that has hung at my bedroom wall and I saw that the time has flown by so fast. I have been trapped in this darkness so long; I nearly forgot to visit you.

 _ **Everything is engulfed by snow, as everything melts into silence and grief.**_

As I trek down to your place I saw everything is engulfed by snow. This reminds me of that day and before I knew it everything went quiet; my heart instantly filled with grief and sadness.

 _ **When I held up my hand, the fragile snow melts upon my palm and dissolves to nothing.**_

 _ **Snow piles up like sand, once you gather it all in one single piece.**_

I remember you told me that people are fragile like a snowflake, there might be a chance that they will melt when you touch them and there might me a chance that they won't. You also said that memories are like sand, though they may be forgotten that doesn't necessarily mean they are lost forever.

 _ **If I were to speak, you would no longer be able to hear me.**_

 _ **You can tell me you're lonely, you can tell me you're aching.**_

 _ **I'll try to find a way to cure your pain.**_

 _ **I beg you not to leave me, please don't ever betray me.**_

As I arrive to you, I only watch because I knew you can't listen to me. I wish you can tell me your pain and loneliness at that time so I can cure them, just like what you did for me. I remember when I asked you not to leave or betray me.

 _ **I don't want to be alone, like once before.**_

 _ **Even if we we're apart now, can our souls become one?**_

 _ **As snow falls down, you slowly wither away in this world.**_

I don't want to be alone like that time before you found me, I selfishly ask you to stay with me. Never once did you complain to me and I was content. I never realize your own pain. And now that we are apart I wonder if our souls can become one? And I laugh bitterly at my thoughts, honestly even when you're not here I'm still thinking selfishly. Aren't I the worst? I wonder if you ever hate me for being so selfish. If you regret meeting me and forcing you to stay with me at that time? I wonder if you think like about me while you let your life to fade away in your room on that snowy day.

 _ **One more time, one more time~**_

 _ **Please hear me out.**_

 _ **Your eyes are resting now, that I see, is a teardrop coming from me.**_

 _ **Our world is stained in gray, blinded in fog, we can no longer see each other.**_

 _ **Your body's freezing up, your voice no longer here.**_

When I heard what happened I rushed out, not minding the cold as I race to your house without my coat. I pushed through the crowd as I made my way to you. And when I saw your eyes closed and your body froze, I knew instantly right there and then I wouldn't be able to see you or hear your voice again and the world that I've come to love, the colorful world that you've shown me, have become lifeless without you by my side.

 _ **We can't even shed a single tear to mourn.**_

 _ **Please can you hear me out, laugh and smile again.**_

 _ **Because I no longer have any strength living this way.**_

 _ **If it's possible God, take my voice and give it to him, I would prefer to be soundless rather than emptiness.**_

 _ **Even if I am to be left alone in this cold, icy world, it'll be alright.**_

During your funeral, I couldn't even shed a tear for you no matter how hard I tried. Selfishly I wish you were still here, to relieve the fun times we had, I'm not strong enough to keep living like this. If it was possible I would give you my voice even if I've became soundless, I would give you my own life even if I became soulless. Even if I were left alone after, it'll be alright. It's funny how I hate to be alone but I'm willing to as long as I can hear you again, as long as I could see you again.

 _ **Please once more, once more again.**_

 _ **Together with you.**_

 _ **"I love you" is so hard to say, even when there is love in this world without you, it's like nothing is warm.**_

"I want to be together with you." On that day, I found your letter, your confession for me. Even now it's so hard to say those words, even when I'm standing in front of your grave with you name in front of me. 'Miku Hatsune, 19xx-20xx'

Even if there is love for me somewhere out there in the world, nothing will ever be the same. I only want that from you. This warm feelings for you, my love for you, is taken away with your death, your ghostly hand reaching to my heart, capturing them between your palms. The hand I wanted to hold when you were with me.

 _ **No matter how much or how many times I scream, you won't ever come to me.**_

" _ **AAAHHHHH!"**_

 _ **I beg of you snow showers, keep on falling on the both of us right now.**_

 _ **It's too painful to move on as we grow apart.**_

 _ **Even If we're with one another, we can walk down our path forever.**_

On that day after your funeral, when all the people left, I scream out loud begging you to not leave me. Even if I knew that would never happen. Now I'm here for the last visit, I lay besides your grave letting the snow falls on my long pink hair.

I could almost hear you whispering to me "Baka-luka. What are you doing sleeping here? You'll die." I laugh silently and decided that I wouldn't mind and close my eyes. After all…

Even if the snow is making me numb and cold this time it'll be my turn to be with you to the very end. So that when we're with each other we can walk our path together, so neither of us will be alone. Because If we can't...

" _ **I'LL DISAPPEAR..."**_

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And that's it. Thank you for reading. *bows* R & R

-Kumiko! Nyaa~~


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